i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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