Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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