I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
