If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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