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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Hi, my name's audrey!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Max?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  The milf did the body paint, come to the bar

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

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• (713): View more from Texas

  so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!

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