boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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