Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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