I hate your face
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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