no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im six kinds of drunk right now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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