Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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