Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
