I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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