if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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