I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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