we're blogging at a bar
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
