Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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