My nipple is on Facebook.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
someone owes me an orgasm
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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