I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
