He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
