hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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