I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The air was thick with penises
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
