I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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