When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Last time i carry you out of a forest
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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