You smell like a Billy Joel song
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
