I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
