the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
