Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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