very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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