I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
