When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
