we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
