Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
