i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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