Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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