we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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