I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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