If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
