I'm going to jail i love you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Even my vagina gasped.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Of course I have a pirate flag
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
