i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
