I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize