i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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