I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
