That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize