Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
