So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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