Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
we should paint friendship bongs
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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