It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
