I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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