Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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