dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my being single is dangerous.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
