The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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