So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize