Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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