He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
