just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
