Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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