i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
