just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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