He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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