Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
