And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
