Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I need water and some morals
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
