I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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