i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
