his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
