nut hugger
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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