apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
