just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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