This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Buhtt sex?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
