I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
