my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
