i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
