i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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