So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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