I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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